Despite the fact that I typed this whole thing up already and then LOST IT when I absentmindedly clicked on a link, I will try again.
Lovely Simcha, mother of 7 in 10 years, who should be rubbing her reproductive magic all over me, invited me to participate in the following Meme. (Until recently, I thought it was pronounced "me-me" because they always seemed to be "about me." Now I know better.)
1. Just how lazy are you?
I am so lazy that I regularly sleep in past 9am, and when my sister called today and suggested, "Let's play hooky!" I didn't even bat an eyelid before deciding to take the day off. Oh yes, and it's 5:30pm as I write this and I still haven't showered.
2. What are you going on and on about these days?
At work: Mass as a holy conversation between God, the people, and the priest.
Elsewhere: My chickens, my job insecurity, and my unproductive reproductive organs.
3. Your husband/significant someone always calls it a crackpot theory, but you know you're really onto something. Tell, tell, tell!
Crackpot Theory #1: The quality of your social life is directly related to the quality of your undergarments. Haven't left the house in weeks? Try wearing underwear without (unintentional) holes in them. Want a hot date? It's time to drop some cash at Vicky's. And not on the cotton collection.
Crackpot Theory #2: People Genres. When Sarah Hughes won the Gold Medal in 2002, a number of people called to congratulate me because my sister won the Olympics. She's not my sister. We're not related. But she does share a certain "short-girl-with-light-brown-hair-small-chin-and-prominent-nose" set of features common to many of my siblings. And so it was born: People Genres.
People Genres are composed of multiple characteristics combined in the same way on different individuals. They are primarily physical, but can also include personality and style. One of my sisters belongs to a more famous people genre, the "Well-dressed-red-head-who-exercises-a-lot" genre.
You can belong to many genres simultaneously. Mr. Man, for instance, belongs both to the "Skinny-dark-haired-bearded-guy-with-bushy-eyebrows-
who-might-be-the-Unabomber" genre, as well as the "Cute-but-geeky-lawyer-who's-wife/girlfriend-dresses-him-well" genre.
Perhaps God got lazy with creation and used patterns or genres that
S/He tweaked a bit. It certainly explains why that person you've never
met insists that they know you because you seem so familiar. And what
about your doppleganger? Y'all are just in the same People Genre.
4. Have you ever eaten a half a hard boiled egg that you found on the
floor, and then absentmindedly shaken salt directly into your mouth to
chase it?
Uhm...no. But I have absentmindedly eaten lettuce that just seconds ago I was feeding to my chickens. And I sit on the toilet seat in public restrooms.
5. What did you really screw up this year?
The abysmal Christmas Eve Mass made me reconsider my vocation. The Gospel Pageant actors came up during the Psalm, the girl playing Mary was petulant and basically threw the baby Jesus at Joseph, the musicians played too fast and the kids moved too slow, the narrators were lost, and the prayers of the faithful were both proclaimed in 16 languages and inaudible. By the time SANTA CLAUS came in after Eucharist, I was praying for the chandelier to fall on my head and put me out of my misery.
6. What did you really get right?
The year isn't over yet. Hopefully I'll come up with something.
I don't usually tag people with this sort of thing, but question #3 is just to scrumptious to pass up. I'd love to hear the crackpot theories of my sister-in-law, Meredith Gould, and the Ironic Catholic, when she returns from hiatus.
