Dirty Catholic

WEE-HOO!

 Today is the day!

I would post something about something, but I'm going to make cupcakes and decorate a modular instead.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Oddly Refreshing

One of the parish priests did not know how to pronounce the word "orgies."  (I believe he said Or-Ghees.) I found it strangely delightful. It was the major idea that I took away from his homily.

Brain Ceases to Function While Thinking

Note to self:  Do not scratch an itch on your face with a pen.

And this....

From: First Drafts of the Parables of Jesus by AJ Packman over at McSweeny's:

One of the disciples said, "Are you sure that's not 'The Parable of the One-Armed Father Who Rode on a Horse'?

And Jesus said, "Maybe you're right. OK, let's change the question: Which of the two sons was the tallest?

Trouble

"Alright, so that concludes this portion of our youth ministry immediate preparation for Communion. Communion is in just a few weeks, so we'll talk about procedure and all that next week. Before we go, do you have any questions?"

"Yes, Katrina, do you have a question?"

"Uhm, you know that Jesus guy, that you, uhm, keep talking about? Well, uhm, who is he, and why, did he, like, have to die?"

"..."

"..."

"Katrina, why don't you stay after so we can talk about this."

Overheard

"Oh man, I have baby-fever bad! But I made a rule for myself: No babies until I find a place to live and have more success keeping my pets alive."

Scenes from the Zoo

Too many giraffes because "The birth control wasn't working."

Bats the size of small dogs

A baboon's pencil-like privates

A feral two year old child, peeing in the middle of the sidewalk

An elephant with a bent ear

Behind the Scenes at Dirty Catholic

Emmy is intimidated by the missal. So am I.

Easter Vigil

That guy who did the awesome Exodus reading that ended with a deep, baritone hymn?

He sounded so great because he practiced all week.... while sitting on the pot.

Miracle of the Towels

Isn't it nice how we wash everyone's feet at our parish?

And isn't it amazing how we have enough clean towels for everyone?

That's because I was standing in the sacristy, doing a cursory toe-jam-check
before refolding the used ones and sending them back out.

Liturgy is messy.