Dirty Catholic

(in)Auspicious Beginnings

After TWO WHOLE POSTS last week, I didn't want you to think that I've forgotten about you. So I am currently writing to you from a darkened hotel in Spokane while my husband lies in bed moaning from a mysterious illness (otherwise known as a hangover).  I'm hoping for a miraculous recovery since his grandmother's funeral is at 1pm today.

Now I don't want you to think Mr. Man is a callous fool who insensitively drank too much the night before a funeral. He simply can't hold his liquor. He's never been very good at it, and his skill in that area decreases as his years increase.  In his mind, however, he can drink with the best of them.  In his mind, drinking 2 or 3 beers is not a problem. This is one area of his life where his indomitable optimism doesn't quite work out for him. He has become quite adept at covering for his hangovers with a myriad of excuses. My favorite is, "I must have eaten some bad shrimp," which is hauled out even if he hasn't had shrimp in weeks.

So after the wake last night, Mr. Man ate some bad shrimp. We were eating shrimp with some of our friends from Spokane who were a delight to catch up with. Despite the sadness of the occasion and all the things we needed to rearrange to be here, I am so very glad we came. Wakes are a unique mix of joy and sorrow, of grief and laughter. As an in-law, I never knew his grandmother in her prime, but I  truly enjoyed hearing the stories of her life, especially those she would never have told me herself. We've been able to reconnect with old friends and meet more of Mr. Man's extended family. The occasion is sad, but the outcome is a blessing.

Funny-in-Law

Oh, man, people. Do I have exciting news for you! But I can't tell you until...Wednesday.

In the meantime, let's talk about my family, shall we? We're all very funny. I am maybe the third funniest of the bunch, at least I was until the most recent wedding. Now it appears my new brother-in-law is giving all the ladies a run for their funny money.

Evidence A, submitted by Funniest #2, via email:  "After dinner, three professors stood up to request, no, demand, songs from each country represented in the student body population. It was quite a crowd, at least 14 countries were represented, so the songs went ON AND ON. My husband, the master of songs that he is, introduced his American song by telling everyone he was going to sing a very solemn, almost melancholic folk song, and that it required special attention. Then he sang 'I Like Big Butts' by Sir Mix-a-Lot. It was my idea. You can see why we're married.

Evidence B is a link for you. (Click me!) Make sure you read at least the last three paragraphs.

Damn. I think I might be demoted to #4.

A Gift only a Grandparent Could Love

(Give it a minute to load, then double-click if it hasn't started yet.)

You can thank Auntie Katie's wedding for teaching our niece to dance like that. And also, my nephew's name isn't Michael. He changed it after getting the drums. He's a true rock star in the making.

At A Camp!

Well hello! I have finally recovered from the month of getting all of this stuff ready, so that this could happen:

 

The weekend was a camp-game-playing, rubber-chicken-tossing, campfire-singing, midnight-tennis-playing, wild-craft-making fun filled adventure.

The campfire program the night before was a particular favorite of mine. Where else can one see a Fiddler on the Roof montage filmed in Jerusalem followed by a rap about Tertullian?  Only at interfaith wedding summer camp!

10 Things You Shouldn't Say to The Bride Before Her Camp-Themed Interfaith Wedding

1. I think you should change the order of the ceremony.

2. Where's a saw? That huppah would look better if it were shorter.

3. Can't the priest's robes match the wedding colors?

4. I think you might have sat in something...brownish.

5. Where's the cake? We're not having cake?

6. Don't mind me, I'm just rearranging the seating chart.

7. Hmm. It looks like rain.

8. A wedding is not a wedding without jello shots!

9. I know you asked me not to, but I just want to say a few words...

10. I think the groom is still hiking.

Bridesmaidzilla

My sister-in-law is getting married Memorial Day Weekend. I'm in the wedding, so I've been working on stuff like organizing a campfire program, making s'mores kits, and thinking about arts and crafts activities. You know, your usual, run-of-the-mill wedding prep.

I was pretty relaxed about my own wedding. I had 5 months to plan and a very busy fiance, so I ignored the wedding blogs and just slapped some stuff together. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, has been planning for over a year, is an avid wedding blog reader, and has organized a three-night, activity filled, summer camp weekend wedding bonanza.

And I have gotten totally sucked in. I've contemplated buying a weekend wardrobe in her wedding colors. I find myself saying things like, "Well of course we need individually wrapped trail mix in the personalized gift baskets!" and "The labels would look better with three different fonts on each line!" I dream in green and pink. It's a sickness, I tell you.

Luckily, in a mere 8 days, the wedding will all be over and my mind will once again be my own. I have no idea what I will do with all my spare time. Maybe I'll start driving you people crazy, instead.

Weddings Aplenty

So yesterday I alluded to part of this in a devious attempt to get you to return to the blog two days in a row. (Guess what? I'll tell you even more tomorrow!)  My younger sister (she of the large ear) got married.

Twice.

To the same guy.

The first was a small church wedding so everything would be cool with the Pope. The second was a big fancy social wedding, so everything was cool with Martha Stewart.

I think the fancy wedding was great, but I couldn't tell you for sure, since I spent the entire time staring at my chest.

Perhaps I was so preoccupied with the girls because they, and my entire body, turned a startling shade of orange:

The cause of this is unclear, but I can assure you that I do not tan, in a bottle or the sun, so apparently I am this color naturally.

The wedding must have been pretty fancy, though, because they somehow got Tinkerbell to be the flower-girl:

 

So that was fun. And now I have another brother-in-law on my side of the family. Now when I say, "You're my favorite Brother-in-law" it will finally mean something.  Because seriously, our new brother-in-law? We love that guy. 

Another View

My brother-in-law is starting a short (31 day) blog.

Go read it for another view of the extended DC family:

http://andrews31visions.blogspot.com/

Keep your eyes open for my godchild, Joey.

Enjoy!

The Gospel According to Victor Hugo (& some French dudes)

So, my husband's family, the in-laws?  They have an attachment to the musical "Les Miserables" that borders on obsessive. Ask any one of them what's the big deal, and he or she will prompt recite a favorite line and then begin to cry. Usually this is followed by the pronouncement, "Anyone who doesn't cry at Les Mis has a heart of stone."

(Guess who has a heart of stone?)

In any case, I have just stumbled across a political ad that might convince the entire family to vote for Obama. Behold, a work of incredible genius:

I think that I might have just begun to cry.

Dirty Nephew

My 2-year old nephew, Joey, is starting become a real talker. His favorite word of the moment is "poop." While this is helpful in requesting a fresh diaper and making his aunties laugh, his fondness for fecal-related conversation is proving to be a bit over the top.

At lunch in the Basque restaurant the other day we were asking him what he wanted to eat. The waitress came up, looked at Joey and charmingly inquired, "How are you little man?" Joey swung around smiling, looked her straight in the eye and yelled, "EAT POOP!"