Dirty Catholic

Funny-in-Law

Oh, man, people. Do I have exciting news for you! But I can't tell you until...Wednesday.

In the meantime, let's talk about my family, shall we? We're all very funny. I am maybe the third funniest of the bunch, at least I was until the most recent wedding. Now it appears my new brother-in-law is giving all the ladies a run for their funny money.

Evidence A, submitted by Funniest #2, via email:  "After dinner, three professors stood up to request, no, demand, songs from each country represented in the student body population. It was quite a crowd, at least 14 countries were represented, so the songs went ON AND ON. My husband, the master of songs that he is, introduced his American song by telling everyone he was going to sing a very solemn, almost melancholic folk song, and that it required special attention. Then he sang 'I Like Big Butts' by Sir Mix-a-Lot. It was my idea. You can see why we're married.

Evidence B is a link for you. (Click me!) Make sure you read at least the last three paragraphs.

Damn. I think I might be demoted to #4.

A Gift only a Grandparent Could Love

(Give it a minute to load, then double-click if it hasn't started yet.)

You can thank Auntie Katie's wedding for teaching our niece to dance like that. And also, my nephew's name isn't Michael. He changed it after getting the drums. He's a true rock star in the making.

At A Camp!

Well hello! I have finally recovered from the month of getting all of this stuff ready, so that this could happen:

 

The weekend was a camp-game-playing, rubber-chicken-tossing, campfire-singing, midnight-tennis-playing, wild-craft-making fun filled adventure.

The campfire program the night before was a particular favorite of mine. Where else can one see a Fiddler on the Roof montage filmed in Jerusalem followed by a rap about Tertullian?  Only at interfaith wedding summer camp!

10 Things You Shouldn't Say to The Bride Before Her Camp-Themed Interfaith Wedding

1. I think you should change the order of the ceremony.

2. Where's a saw? That huppah would look better if it were shorter.

3. Can't the priest's robes match the wedding colors?

4. I think you might have sat in something...brownish.

5. Where's the cake? We're not having cake?

6. Don't mind me, I'm just rearranging the seating chart.

7. Hmm. It looks like rain.

8. A wedding is not a wedding without jello shots!

9. I know you asked me not to, but I just want to say a few words...

10. I think the groom is still hiking.

Bridesmaidzilla

My sister-in-law is getting married Memorial Day Weekend. I'm in the wedding, so I've been working on stuff like organizing a campfire program, making s'mores kits, and thinking about arts and crafts activities. You know, your usual, run-of-the-mill wedding prep.

I was pretty relaxed about my own wedding. I had 5 months to plan and a very busy fiance, so I ignored the wedding blogs and just slapped some stuff together. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, has been planning for over a year, is an avid wedding blog reader, and has organized a three-night, activity filled, summer camp weekend wedding bonanza.

And I have gotten totally sucked in. I've contemplated buying a weekend wardrobe in her wedding colors. I find myself saying things like, "Well of course we need individually wrapped trail mix in the personalized gift baskets!" and "The labels would look better with three different fonts on each line!" I dream in green and pink. It's a sickness, I tell you.

Luckily, in a mere 8 days, the wedding will all be over and my mind will once again be my own. I have no idea what I will do with all my spare time. Maybe I'll start driving you people crazy, instead.

Weddings Aplenty

So yesterday I alluded to part of this in a devious attempt to get you to return to the blog two days in a row. (Guess what? I'll tell you even more tomorrow!)  My younger sister (she of the large ear) got married.

Twice.

To the same guy.

The first was a small church wedding so everything would be cool with the Pope. The second was a big fancy social wedding, so everything was cool with Martha Stewart.

I think the fancy wedding was great, but I couldn't tell you for sure, since I spent the entire time staring at my chest.

Perhaps I was so preoccupied with the girls because they, and my entire body, turned a startling shade of orange:

The cause of this is unclear, but I can assure you that I do not tan, in a bottle or the sun, so apparently I am this color naturally.

The wedding must have been pretty fancy, though, because they somehow got Tinkerbell to be the flower-girl:

 

So that was fun. And now I have another brother-in-law on my side of the family. Now when I say, "You're my favorite Brother-in-law" it will finally mean something.  Because seriously, our new brother-in-law? We love that guy. 

Another View

My brother-in-law is starting a short (31 day) blog.

Go read it for another view of the extended DC family:

http://andrews31visions.blogspot.com/

Keep your eyes open for my godchild, Joey.

Enjoy!

The Gospel According to Victor Hugo (& some French dudes)

So, my husband's family, the in-laws?  They have an attachment to the musical "Les Miserables" that borders on obsessive. Ask any one of them what's the big deal, and he or she will prompt recite a favorite line and then begin to cry. Usually this is followed by the pronouncement, "Anyone who doesn't cry at Les Mis has a heart of stone."

(Guess who has a heart of stone?)

In any case, I have just stumbled across a political ad that might convince the entire family to vote for Obama. Behold, a work of incredible genius:

I think that I might have just begun to cry.

Dirty Nephew

My 2-year old nephew, Joey, is starting become a real talker. His favorite word of the moment is "poop." While this is helpful in requesting a fresh diaper and making his aunties laugh, his fondness for fecal-related conversation is proving to be a bit over the top.

At lunch in the Basque restaurant the other day we were asking him what he wanted to eat. The waitress came up, looked at Joey and charmingly inquired, "How are you little man?" Joey swung around smiling, looked her straight in the eye and yelled, "EAT POOP!"

Meeting People

At Molleen's wedding and at my sister's engagement party, I had the distinct honor of meeting people who asked, "Are you Dirty Catholic?"

It's an interesting experience to meet someone for the first time who already knows, say, that you are maybe infertile and have a dart board in your backyard. But it does clear up the awkward "What do you do for a living?" conversation.

But to all of you, Hey! Hi there! It was nice to meet you.

Molleen, the recently married, just created a Facebook group, "I Read Dirty Catholic". So I signed up for Facebook, (I'm surprisingly low-tech for a blogger) and holy fuck, all these people I know (and who don't know the DC of me) showed up in the finding friends section. It's kind of a little bit freaky.

The upside is that I got to see photos of other long-time readers and damn, you people are cute!

Anyhoo, go join the group, if you want to. I will look forward to lurking about in it.