What Mr. Man and I saw on our walk home from church last Sunday:
The Archbishop of San Fransisco seems to think that the swine flu is a liturgically spread disease. At Mass this Sunday, were told that due to swine flu, we would not receive the Blood of Christ, we were instructed to refrain from holding hands during the Our Father, and told not to touch each other during the Kiss of Peace until the end of the Easter season. Because apparently the cure to the Swine Flu is Ordinary Time.
Have you ever found yourself about to cry in a situation when you would really rather not?
Yeah, me too.
But take heart! You too can avoid embarrassing "I cried a the Dentist" moments with my (not-yet) patented "Jack-in-the-Box" method.
Step one: Watch this commercial.
Step Two: When realizing that you are about to lose your shit, quickly imagine a random series of unrelated items. Apples! Bunnies! A rowboat! Electricity! Confetti! Keep imagining these things until the urge has passed. Repeat as necessary until you have located a friendly shoulder to cry on.
I imagine this might also work for being really, really, pissed off. Anyone with anger management issues is welcome to try it and let me know, but only if it worked.
If you dentist has a foot-fetish, don't wear sandals to your appointment.
You don't want to distract the person holding a drill in your mouth.
Note to self: Do not chug a cup of coffee 5 minutes before your 7am excercise class.
I never thought I'd say this but...I miss my acupuncturist.
Dude. Those magic needles, which were intended to help get me knocked up, instead helped me sleep through the night for the first time in YEARS and (here comes too much information) poop like a regular person. (Pun intended)
So even though I took the month off from the baby-oriented needles, I called her up for the side-effects.
I have an appointment with 15 straight pins this afternoon that I'm eagerly awaiting. Maybe it will also help me approach tonight's election-result-watching-bar-hopping-political-tour with a zen like sense of calm.
What the heck? Is it November already? I'm sorry, I was busy getting into political battles on Facebook. I don't think my friends ever really believed me when I said I have REALLY CONSERVATIVE family members, but now there is no doubt.
In related news, I am having a recurring dream about Barack Obama, and because the website doesn't appear to have been updated recently, I guess I'll have to keep it to myself.
Finally, as I am slowly trying to convince myself to really quit my job, I went to the feast day celebration at work and did a little as possible to help out, and found that things turned out fine without my meddling. Sometimes it's a relief to realize that you aren't that important.
Wee-Hoo! Dirty Catholic is two years old today!
So that means I can go (almost) two whole years before feeling comfortable enough with one thing before starting an new thing.
The question that remains is, shall I do NoBloPoMo in November, as is customary, and if so, for which?
...My latest project?
It's a new blog called, "Just Practicing." (www.JustPracticing.net)
I've been wanting to do this for a while and the part-time downgrade at my old parish, some interesting reading, and the encouragement of my friends and family inspired me to get going.
Don't worry, Dirty Catholic will still be active. Just think of this as a second place to check.
Thanks for reading and blessings to you all!
"I come here everyday at 5pm and run until the sun sets. And I don't know if I'm getting stronger or what, but each day it seems to go by faster and faster. It's almost as if the sun is setting earlier!"
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