Dirty Catholic

Confession and Apples

I heard an interesting piece from NPR on forgiveness and health. It's a fairly balanced bit and interesting for anyone who might be struggling with issues of forgiveness and unforgiveness  in their lives.

Go Listen! Click Here.

Who Needs Priests?

I'm up to my eyeballs in first confessions (ahem, we like to call them "first Reconciliations") lately.

All those wide-eyed, scared-out-of-their-mind 2nd graders approach the priests like they were executioners; but the kids always return smiling, so I know the gentlemen are wise in their counsel.

But holy bejeezuz, it must be exhausting to hear 60 confessions a night. Maybe they can take Saturday off and install one of these for the regulars:

Thanks to my mother-in-law for the link!

How to Tell if a Priest is a Good Confessor

1. He doesn't spend his homilies telling the congregation that they are losers/worthless sinners/suckers.

2. He has confessed to his own shortcomings in homilies, occasionally.

3. He knows your name.

4. He offers a penace that is relevant to the thing you confessed.

5. He doesn't bat an eye when you say you can't remember the Act of Contrition.

6. If you confess something shocking, he asks your opinion about root causes, situation, and response.

7. He doesn't make you feel worse about what you did.

8. You leave feeling better, and open to the idea of going to confession again.

Best Confession Ever (or So Far)

Well friends, we like to be all "fair and balanced" over here at Dirty Catholic, so to balance the kvetching of last week's worst ever, let's have some Best Ever/ Best-So-Far (note the hopeful spirit there?) confession stories.

It's my blog, so I have to go first:

When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I confessed to things that were actually sexual abuse. The priest cried with me, told me that I had not sinned, and urged me to tell my mom. It was the best advice I ever got, lead to some kick-ass therapy, and probably saved my life.

But I have no idea who the priest was, so I can't thank him. But how I wish I could.

Alright- now it's your turn. All stories welcomed gladly. What's your best confession?

Worst Confession EVER!

Yes, I can wax all poetic about the Awesomeness of Reconciliation, but it is true that some of us have had some nasty experiences- experiences so bad that we perhaps never went back (or went back with extreme reservations). So let's get those off our chest, shall we? Please join me in confessing the confessions that keep you leary of Confession.

I'll go first:

When I was in High School, I went to Reconciliation during a NET Retreat, just as I was slowly returning to Catholicism. (I left young, angry about the usual feminist issues.) I was grappeling with how to incorporate a feminine image of God in my prayer life, and still naive enough to think that I need to ask permission for this. Silly girl. Anyhoo, so I say to the priest, after a list of actual sins including "leaving the church in anger and frustration," that I had been praying with the Holy Spirit as a feminine image of God, and, "Was this alright?"

The priest went on to explain how the feminine image was inaccurate becasue the Holy spirit was more like an "Orgasm of Love" (I kid you not) between the Father and the Son. Perhaps it was the blank look on my face that emerged while I tried to figure out how incestuos sex was a better image for the Holy Spirit than a woman, but then he leaned forward and asked me, "You do know what an orgasm is, don't you?"

Riiiight.

God bless my NET small group leader who, despite the Conservative swing of the organization, told me, "Honey, that was weird. I see God as a woman all the time. It's fine."

Sharing Ain't for Sissies...

Forgive me Internet, but it's been a long-ass time since my last confession.

Lately, I've been preparing parents and their kids for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, so my mind has been wandering in this direction.

An article in The Wall Street Journal (of all places) about Confession making a comeback pointed to a Protestant website where you can confess and read other's confessions.

Perusing IveScrewedUp.com, all I can think is how much these people would benefit from having a REAL LIVE PERSON hear their confession, someone to offer them hope and counsel, and in some cases, tell them that they are not actually sinning.

A friend of mine described the Sacrament of Reconciliation to me as a way for the church hierarchy to control you. I have to disagree. I choose to think positively of the hierarchy and its priests, even if they do act oddly as a group from time to time. Reconciliation isn't about being judged or reprimanded or controlled. It is a chance to hear the voice of our loving God say, "I forgive you!" It is a chance to find a spiritual friend to walk with in the challenge of living as an authentic Christian. It provides a sounding board, another set of ears, to hear where God is calling you and where evil might be interfering in your life.

But! For it to really work, like everything else in the Church, you have to work. You have to find a priest that you like, trust, and who is a good confessor. You also have to go somewhat regularly, so that the priest deluged with 2000 parishioners at your parish actually remembers your name, your struggles and your hopes. Finally, I suggest going on Saturdays or by appointment because most priests have neither the time nor disposition to really dig into an issue with you when you are the 6th in the standard 30-person-line of Lenten Reconciliation services.

In a very real way, Reconciliation is one of the best mental health services offered by the church, creating space for the members of our stressed-out, over-worked, unreflective culture to pause, breath, and reflect. It is a chance to say "No!" to destructive patterns and "Yes!" to our loving God. Reconciliation helps us to refocus our gaze on Christ, who forgives, challenges, and always, always loves. 

Religion, Politics, and Church Music

Way back in the beginning of July, HolyFamoley tagged me for my favorite church songs: Five in Latin, five in English, and five contemporary songs.

As a California resident, and someone who was raised exclusively in the Post-Vatican-II-West-Coast-Catholic-Church, I would like to extend the "Latin" field to "all non-English church music." And of course, for me "contemporary" means not Christian bands per se, but contemporary music that has Christian themes.

Alright, here goes!

Favorite Latin/Non-English Hymns:

1. Siyahamba/We Are Marching (South African)

2. Dong Co Tu o i/Fields of Fresh Grass (Vietnamese) I am afraid you can only find this beauty from OCP, but a trip to the website is certainly in order. You can hear both this song in English, and Amazing Grace in Vietnamese. It's rad. Click on "Contents" to hear particular songs.

3. Misa del Mundo by Jesse Manibusan (Multi-lingual Mass Parts)

4. Pan De Vida by Jaime Cortez (which, I have to admit, I like better than the more traditional stuff like Alabare and Pescador de Hombres)

5. The traditional Latin Kyrie & Agnus Dei are actually my favorite settings of those Mass parts.

Five Favorite English Hymns:

1. My Soul is Thirsting (a Psalm 63 setting by Bob Hurd)

2. Here at this Table by Janet Sullivan Whitaker (uhm, and "Day of Peace" and "In Ev'ry Age," too.)

3. What Wondrous Love Is This (trad.) Fernando Ortega has a nice setting of it.

4. All Are Welcome (Yes, it's a  Marty Haugen but holy crap, verse 5 sung with gusto "Let this house proclaim from floor to rafter, All are welcome in this place!" Makes me cry like a friggin' baby every time.)

5. A really obscure version of "Here I Am" by Micheal Becker? or Bobby Fisher? Not sure who wrote it, but here it is:

Five Favorite Contemporary Songs:

1. Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch

2. And A God Descended by Dar Williams

3. Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls

4. Shimmer by Shawn Mullins

5. Both Hands by Ani DiFranco

Finally, in a new addition to the game, I would like to include:

Five Songs I Never Want to Hear Ever Again:

1. On Eagles Wings

2. Lord of the Dance (This song is played on eternal repeat in my own personal hell.)

3. Awesome God (Especially when the hand movements are used)

4. Canticle of the Sun (This was a favorite as a child and now it makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon...)

5. God Bless America or the National Anthem sung at Mass.

Okay- I would like to hear the answers to this music meme from...anyone who is interested in sharing! Leave them in the comments!

No House For You!

Forgive me, Internet, for I have sinned...it's been quite a while since my last confession.

I haven't finish reading the book for our book club tonight, nor have I reviewed the questions.

I saved $18 by purchasing a different cut of meat for dinner, and I promptly spent that money bottle of Lillet.

When I found out we didn't get the house, I immediately believed it was karma for unleashing the cheesy verse of Wednesday's entry. Rereading it, I think I probably deserved it.

Hmm. I only feel a teensy bit better. Maybe I should have a glass of Lillet!

Craigslist Missed Connections

Dear Short-Haired Counter-Service Woman at Sweet Adeline Bakeshop,

I come to the bakeshop every morning with the hope of seeing you. Well, more specifically, you standing at the espresso machine. Sometimes you're serving up scones instead, and while it is delightful to chat with you, what I really want is your foam.

You make the best non-fat steamed milk foam EVER. When you are working, I want to order a cappuccino instead of a latte. Your foam is silky-smooth and creamy. And when I am especially lucky, you make heart or flower design on top.

I've always wanted to tell you how good your foam is, but your co-workers are always around and I am afraid it will make them jealous. Maybe they'll spit in my latte. Maybe they'll stop preparing my drink as soon as they see me walk in. Maybe they'll snub me because all I really crave is your super-amazing foam.

Please, please, please stop serving scones. Please make foam. Please make foam all the time. If not for me, then for the good of the world. Life is too short to drink bad foam.

With Deepest Admiration,

Single Non-Fat Latte

I Heart Eddie Izzard

Forgive me internet, for I have sinned...

I am in love with Eddie Izzard. He looks so cute in that dress. Plus, we have so much in common, theolgically.

I can't stop watching his DVD's. Here, look, you'd love him, too!

Ah, I feel much better.