Dirty Catholic

Looks just like...

I can't get over how much the new bishop looks like an old roommate of mine. (My mother would here insert, "Housemate, not roommate. If you say 'Roommate' people think you are living in sin!")

Anyhow, this particular housemate quit his job to pursue modern dancing and acrobatics full time. He took courses on ropes and hoops and high-wire acts. He once ordered hundreds of daffodil bulbs to plant all over our dilapidated neighborhood. He introduced me to quinoa and amaranth grain. You might say he was a little bit granola. More than anything, he was just a really nice, kind, interesting guy.

If the new bishop has more than just physical similarities to my old housemate, the Diocese could be a very fun and happy place in the next few years. Let's keep our fingers crossed!

Religious Forwards

I was recently emailing with my friend Ann about religious forwards, the plague of church ministers everywhere. My general thought is that they are a small form of popular piety, a chance for people to express their faith in little ways throughout the day. It's not their fault that church ministers just happen to end up on everyone's forward list.

Were I, however, to say each and every rosary, wish, small prayer, and honor any other random commandment that these emails prescribe, I would have no time for my job. ("Sorry I didn't get your kids registered for classes, I was too busy with that Novena you sent me!")

I therefore feel absolutely no guilt when I delete them unopened. Every once in a while I will take a look, as I did today, namely because the subject line was "Dumb Joke," a much more intriguing title than, say, "Prayer Chain- Do Not Delete!" (which of course gives me an extra thrill as I move it promptly to the trash). 

Here, my friends, is the reward for my faith in the dumb joke:

"There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church.  Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter."

St. Joseph Strikes Again!

Apartment Therapy, that lovely home design blog for all us small house/apartment dwellers, has some articles about St. Joseph's realty prowess. Here's the original post, and here's the follow-up. Be sure to read the comments- some of them are funny.

Our Lady Parts of Christ the Light

Despite my feelings about the cathedral project sucking up all the Diocese's resources that it should be giving to help its current parishes, I am excited about the Cathedral itself.

I like my Cathedrals to be innovative. The traditionalist have all of Europe. I appreciate a worship space that speaks to a new generation. (LA Cathedral? LOVED IT.) And that this one looks like a cervix from one angle and a giant vulva from another, makes me all the more delighted.

Bring on the Rebirth in Christ!

Like the Sound of Music

It wasn't until listening to an NPR story this morning that I realized I hadn't heard the Pope's voice before.

It was a revelation.

It never occured to me that he'd sound like he had grown up in the VonTrapp Family.

Political Inspiration

In honor of the plethora of states voting in the primaries today, I thought I'd give a little shout-out to Catholic John DiIulio, a Democrat who lead Faith-Based Initiatives in the Bush White House.

Here's an NPR interview with him.

And here's a link to his new book.

In our parish, one of the foreign-born priests vowed to become an American citizen if Obama is elected president.

Which of course, begged the question, who would have to be elected for you to leave?

Feel free to post in the comments which candidate, if elected,  would inspire you to become an ex-patriot.

Also, Happy Mardi Gras!  (Don't worry, the link won't take you to a picture of Mardi Gras boob-flasher, though I must admit, I was tempted.)

Twee!!!

Did you hear that? That's the sound of a tiny noisemaker in my mind celebrating the one full year that I have piddled away my time by writing nonsense and somesense here at Dirty Catholic.

If you would have asked me a year ago what this site would look like by now, I'd probably have told you that I learned to write code, bought Adobe Photoshop, and finally made a masthead that reflects what I really mean by "Dirty Catholic." But alas, I have not.

Nor have I told anyone at my parish about this site, which is a miracle in itself.

In the last year I have decided that I would rather write a blog than finish an MA Thesis in Liturgy.  I have enjoyed this creative outlet when the sheer administrative drudgery of my "ministerial" job has made me want to tear out my fingernails.  I have learned to negotiate the landmines of internet weirdos by ignoring them.

Maybe next year I will learn code and get all artsy-fartsy with the photos. Or maybe I'll just work on using grammar and punctuation that doesn't make my  in-laws cringe. Let's just wait and see, shall we?   

The Dirty Three

Three things that I am loving on the intrawebbings these days:

1. Pray As You Go:  PAYG delivers 10 minutes of guided prayer, Monday through Friday, direct to your iPod or MP3 player. And did I mention? They are FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC!

2. Star Quest Production Network: These are the folks who brought you "That Catholic Show" and other fine Catholic video podcasts. Here you'll find them all, organized and ready for your watching pleasure, even if you are a heathen Microsoft user.

3. Mr. Deity: Offering a bi-monthly quick clip, the Mr. Deity show offers a funny look at the hard questions. WARNING: Not intended for use by humorless religious persons.

Alrighty, friends, now go waste some time!

Have I mentioned...

...that Stephen Colbert is Catholic?    Oh, I have?

Well, Diane sent us this delightful link for your work-shirking enjoyment:

Continuing with Catholicious news, HERE is a list of Catholics in the media.

According to the list, Nicole Kidman is one of our own!

John Cusack? Ours!

Parker Posey? Ours!

GEORGE CLOONEY? Ours! Ours! Ours!

Of course, we also have Lindsay Lohan and Kevin Federline. (We hang our heads and mumble something about poor catechesis.)

You may have noticed that the list adopts the Church's official position, which is that you are Catholic if were baptized Catholic and haven't made a formal rejection of the faith to a competent authority. (Barbara Walters doesn't count.) So some of the people on the list might induce your eyebrows to pay a visit to your hairline, but you can just pray for our lost sheep.

In the meantime, help me add to the list or send me news to post! You can find my email here.

Catholicious

So friends, are you familiar with JEWTASTIC?  Jewtastic.com is yet one more reason that I have serious religion envy.

Dude. A site that talks about what cool Jews are doing in pop culture? Rad.

Why the hell don't we have a CATHOLICIOUS?  (Well, okay, we do, but clearly it sucks.)

So until someone gets off their kneelers and gets the site together, I will bring you an occasional Catholicious update- a juicy tidbit from time to time on Catholics roaming about freely in the mainstream.

(In return, you WILL NOT post any hater crap like "But they're not really Catholic because they disagree with blah-de-blah-blah!"  Seriously. The Church is big enough for everyone. So deal.)

Alright! On to our first edition of CATHOLICIOUS!

Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report:

Yes, my friends, he is a practicing Catholic.  Take a deep breath, I know it's exciting. I feel suddenly compelled to order cable television.  For those of you in the modern age who actually have cable, you can begin listening intently to subversive little Catholic shout-outs like the above example.