Liturgical Nightmares, Real and Imagined

Not only did you, the music minister, move right into the Gospel Alleluia after the Responsorial Psalm, you did so on Ash Wednesday, when there is both a second reading and no "Alleluia."

You are holding hands with the priest by the altar during the Our Father and you notice that not only is your fly down, but your shirt is sticking out of the zipper.

For the Prayers of the Faithful at your fancy multicultural liturgy, the Portugese speaker did not translate his prayer not from the English one in the worship aide, "Let us pray for Peace among all peoples" but created his own. The rest of the Portugese speakers said it roughly translated to "That the hippies stop running the churches."

You taught all the Christmas pageant kids to begin their pageant when they hear people singing "Alleluia", only to discover during Mass that the choir director chose Psalm 118 for the Responsorial.

The naked baby peed in the baptismal font, and then the priest used that water for the sprinkling rite.

You had placed ashes on the foreheads of most of the community before realizing that you were saying "Turn away from the Gospel and be faithful to sin."

Comments

[Cathy]

I had my RCIA team in stiches this week recounting the bishop, many years ago, before he went into alcoholism rehab (hmmmm) lead off the baptismal promises at confirmation with "Do you accept Satan and all his empty promises?"

I had schooled the kids into answering with a hearty "I Do!" but these 13 year olds knew that this was not the proper response. They looked panicked and were wildly trying to get some clue from me. I just gestured to wait, hoping that the bishop would get out of the trap of leading us all into apostasy. He noticed their panic and must have thought, "I need to say that again...."

And the sacrament was valid after all....

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