House of the Loud Talkers

(image credit: http://useyourinsidevoice.com/)

Last night at dinner my husband, sister-in-law, her fiance and I were talking about our upcoming vacation plans. At some point, the fiance stopped the conversation and asked, "I'm sorry, but why are we yelling?"

Growing up, my father was a pretty mellow guy.  His only display of emotion came in terms of the volume of his voice. If he was serious or sad, he was quiet.  If he was passionate about an issue or funny, he was loud. Really Loud.  And usually unaware of his volume to the point that when my mother would say, "Honey, you don't need to yell."  He'd yell back, "I'M NOT YELLING!"

As you can imagine, I inherited this trait.  This natural propensity to talk loudly about the things I care about has come in handy in a job that often finds me speaking to large groups in large rooms without the assistance of a microphone.  ("Can you hear me?" I ask. The old lady in the back of the gym hollers back, "You're too loud!")  The trait is less handy in staff meetings and the confessional.

As fate would have it, I my husband has the same affliction.  Maybe it was being on the young end of a large family, maybe it was an over-developed desire for attention, maybe it was a work hazard from all those years in musical theater, but man, is my husband a loud-talker.  Early in our marriage Mr. Man was talking to me while doing dishes, focused on his task as I swept the floor behind him. He was talking so loudly that I assumed he thought I was in the other room. "Sweetie, I'm right here," I told him. "I know," he said, puzzled by my odd addition to the conversation.

My sensitivity to his volume has made me more aware of my own.  I'll catch myself practically yelling instructions to a new family, the sheer volume of my voice blowing the hair back on their heads. I'll apologize and lower my voice. Though I'm often tempted to lie and say that I'm hearing impaired, I've not yet done so. It would only encourage others to start yelling at me.

In addition to being loud-talkers, my husband and I are also known for being excessively affectionate. But don't let that fool you. If you ever catch one of us rubbing or caressing the other's kneecap, it's not because of a mutual kneecap fetish. It's the volume knob. We're quietly telling the other to "turn it down."

Comments

[Your oldest sister]

THAT'S FREAKIN' FUNNY!!!! I mean, that's freakin' funny.

[Barb]

Ha! I come from a large family and when we get together the volume goes way up....even mine, and I am normally a quiet person. My husband can't stand it!!

[S]

Aw.....

[Paul]

I have to say that we have the opposite problem. About half of our conversational dialogue consists of, "excuse me?" "hunh?" and "what was that?" We hate to think what we'll be like in old age.

[Alida]

Indoor voice is something I'm working on with my kids...unfortunately they have no good role models. Soemtimes our conversations get so loud and passionate that one of the kids will look at us with a very sad face and ask us to stop arguing.

"Oh, sweetie, we are just talking!." we scream at them.