Last night while Mr. Man was dutifully giving me a foot rub, we were discussing the generally accepted truth that for women, a foot rub is just a foot rub, but for men, a foot rub equals sex. Then I unleashed this gem: "Provided that I was having sex regularly, if someone offered me an hour long professional massage or an orgasm, I'd choose the massage."
Mr. Man stammered his disbelief. No! Surely not! How can it be?!?!? (Of course, he's never had a massage, so what would he know?) Anyhoo, we called my sister to pose the question to her. She agreed with me. So now my husband thinks that this preference is a genetic defect. I maintain it is a truth of female sexuality.
So, dear readers, I ask you:
Given the option between an orgasm or an hour-long professional massage, which would you choose?
Massage, of course! Pedicure and facial? Even better.
Posted by: Meredith Gould | July 17, 2008 at 01:18 PM
Don't know where "a foot rub equals sex" comes from. I'd take the massage. (Gender = Male).
Posted by: Liam | July 17, 2008 at 02:27 PM
If I'm having regular sex? Definitely the massage.
Posted by: Dawn | July 17, 2008 at 02:55 PM
If I can't have them both and I'm having the sex regularly DEFINITELY the massage.
You know what? Definitely the massage regardless!!
Posted by: Alison | July 17, 2008 at 06:15 PM
Both my boyfriend and I vote for the massage. Maybe Mr Man is looking for a genetic defect in the wrong place.
Posted by: Carol | July 17, 2008 at 06:18 PM
Massage, massage, massage! (David the massage therapist at Piedmont Springs comes to mind.)
Posted by: Janet | July 17, 2008 at 09:53 PM
Which sister did you call?
Posted by: Best Brother-in-Law Ever | July 17, 2008 at 10:20 PM
Best Brother-In-Law(for now)- I called Katie. I knew what your wife would say!
Posted by: DirtyCatholic | July 17, 2008 at 10:30 PM
This blog entry is full of lies. I am not kidding. It mischaracterizes me as a Neanderthal.
The options were:
(1) an hour of mind-blowing sex (with one or more orgasms, depending on your gender and physical abilities); or
(2) an hour of massage by a masseuse of a reasonable skill level.
(Note that these options may not have been explicitly stated, but they were crystal clear, at least in my head.)
By the way, the "foot rub = sex" did not come from me. I happily give Dirty Catholic foot (and calf, mind you) rubs and massages without any request, demand, or expectation of or for anything in return. HOWEVER, I would expect that a happy, satisfied, relaxed newlywed bride basking in the glow of a wonderful professional-level massage would WANT to make sweet sweet monkey love with her newlywed husband who loves her very much (especially naked).
That is all. Please feel free to vote again now that you have all the information.
Posted by: Mr. Man | July 17, 2008 at 10:49 PM
I can give myself an orgasm. I cannot give myself a professional massage. SO: massage.
Posted by: Katie | July 18, 2008 at 08:13 AM
I'm with Katie on this. Massage for SURE.
Posted by: Marika | July 19, 2008 at 10:42 PM
Sorry "Best Brother-in-law-ever"...I think I have to go with a massage.
Posted by: your oldest sister | July 20, 2008 at 09:24 PM
Katie does have a really good point
Posted by: Oldest sister | July 20, 2008 at 09:26 PM
MASSAGE!!!!
Posted by: Amy | July 21, 2008 at 01:27 PM
Clearly, the massage is the obvious winner. Every time.
Posted by: MoMo | July 21, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Massage. NO doubt.
Posted by: Lynnster | August 11, 2008 at 05:03 PM
I agree with Katie. Orgasm, I can give myself. Massage, I can't.
Posted by: Michelle | August 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM