The Learning Curve

We had our annual First Communion Mass marathon this weekend. Here are some of the things that I learned:

1. According to the preacher, all the children at the service were conceived "in holy communion." (No wonder Catholics have so many kids.)

2. Even if I beg, plead, and cajole beforehand, the only way to stop flashing cameras at Mass is a firm, well-timed quip from the priest.

3.  Don't wear the dress with the slit up the back when teaching kids how to do a "profound bow" at the altar.

4. Ignoring the GIRM is the best way to have a First Communions Mass that doesn't annoy the crap out of the rest of the congregation.

5. Sitting at a First Communion Service, anxiously staring at the clock so I could leave and get to Passover? Maybe it's time to switch occupations.