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March 18, 2008

Tales from the Ambo

There seems to be a proliferation of unpracticed Lectors lately.

At a staff meeting, the following anecdotes were shared:

One Lector came in late and didn't see the Lectionary.  So instead she brought her daily missal up with her. Rather quickly, two things became clear: she had a missal with reflections on the readings that connected them to modern experiences, and she had an inability to turn a single page at a time. The combination of these created the following modernized proclamation: "Moses and the Israelites arrived at the Red Sea (one page turn too many) and cars were everywhere. Traffic was just completely stopped. ...The Word of the Lord?"

Then there was the Lector who spent the entire reading describing the "Friar Sis" and the "Sad Jewses" who were arguing with Jesus.

And most fresh in our mind was this Palm Sunday, when it sounded like Jesus was involved in some sort of human-trafficking from the cross, crying out, "Elly, Elly, Lemme sell back Tony!"

Perhaps you have some tales from that Ambo that you'd like to share in the comments?

(And perhaps your community, like mine, could profit from this awesome website put out by Net Ministries, which offers a transliteration and audio guide for the pronunciation of biblical words.)

Posted at 02:59 PM in Will this get me into heaven? |

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Comments

Othemts

A highlight of any Mass in Boston is hearing a lector proclaim "Wuhd of the lawd."

Posted by: Othemts | March 19, 2008 at 10:23 AM

Anne

There was the very overweight lector who read Isaiah 50:4-7..."....my face I did not shield from BUFFAYS and spitting."

Posted by: Anne | March 20, 2008 at 07:13 AM

Jen

I always thought it was "Ellie, ellie, llamas about town-y". Very dappper, those llamas.

Hope you have a good Good Friday.

Posted by: Jen | March 21, 2008 at 05:21 AM

Ginger

Oh dear. This made me laugh far more than I should be laughing at this point in the Triduum.

I've heard 'A reading from the Book of the Acropolis' on more than one occasion...

Posted by: Ginger | March 21, 2008 at 05:16 PM

Cathy Adamkiewicz

I have officially repented of making fun of my husband for practicing his assigned readings.

I do miss the good old days when my favorite lector spoke of "Jerusalham." Good times.

Posted by: Cathy Adamkiewicz | March 24, 2008 at 05:49 PM

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