I Think We Should Stop and Ask for Directions

Do you ever wonder if you've made all the wrong choices?

At work, we're moving on a huge project that I am convinced in my very heart, is the wrong thing to do. We're a big happy family parish that's all about comforting the comfortable and ignoring the afflicted. I feel stifled, stymied, unable to do work that matters because I am doing everything I can just to do my job, just to keep churning the sacramental and social machine. Is it possible that I mistook church work for God's work?

At home, Mr. Man and I are at odds. I would love to become a foster family, he would love to become a biological family, and only I am who is willing to do both. Is it possible to be called to a vocation that your spouse wants nothing to do with?

In prayer I feel restless, unable to get to the bottom of it. I am convinced that God is loving and forgiving,  and so, so generous. Yet I am terrified of the abundant blessings that I wear like a garland around my neck. I am convinced that If I don't give them away- pass the blessings on- that they will become a noose that suffocates or a lead weight that pushes me down, down, down.

I am terrified by the thought that I figured it out all wrong, that by following this path I've ended up on the other side of a great chasm, looking at, but unable to get to the place I supposed to be.

On the feast of All Saints I wonder how well I have answered the call. One theory on sainthood goes that sainthood is achieved when our will most closely lines up with the will that God has for us. How can I become the saint that God is calling me to be? Can I be on that path even as I feel completely lost?

Comments

[kelly]

We don't save children they save us. I'm an adoptive and biological mother and I can tell you that no matter how you create your family, if you do right by them, love them with everything you have, you are doing God's work. At least that is my humble opinion.
Peace

And remember, even Atlas had to shrug. You can't do it all.

[Anitra]

I don't know what I'm called to do either... wish God would just spill it already and clue me in.

[Alida]

I'm gonna give you some advice, because I'm a mom and it's what I do. Not advice really, it's just what I would tell my daugther.

In my early twenties, I wanted to teach, have children and adopt children. I dropped out of college, didn't marry until I was 32. Seems like hopes for what I thought I was called to do were dashed. But wait...

I married a man with kids (somewhat like adopting), we had two of our own and now I'm homeschooling them.

I really believe God puts you where you need to be to fulfill your calling, even if you can't see it.

My favorite quote, I think is from Joseph Campbell,

"Sometimes you must set aside the plans you've made, so the God can lead you to the plans he has for you."

Something like that, anyway. Good luck.

[Bill]

Thank you, Alita.
I think the word is 'humility' which you obviously have. To receive blessings we must have open hands and an open heart.

[Angel B]

You may be interested in an organization called Help One Child. They provide support services to foster families.
http://www.helponechild.org/

I volunteered with them when I lived in the Bay area. My husband also isn't called to foster parenting, but I think I am. Help One Child allowed me to help foster families even if I couldn't become one too.

[kevin]

you actually could be on the right path and not be fully aware of it....maybe in the grand scheme of things you are just on a little detour...Remember - His time, not ours...