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October 17, 2007

The Armpit of the Body of Christ

Dear Jesus,

Please save me from your followers.

Especially the ones who take the Book of Revelations literally and want me to take 3 hours out to my day to let them convince me that they are right. You know, they're the same ones who read the Left Behind series as if were a work of non-fiction. 

And save me from your followers who write lengthy books, plays, and music that they want me to read and get published for them. Because, you know, I have "connections".

And save me from the people who want to start huge projects like day-care centers and interfaith organization but really, they just want to name them and let me do all the work.

And save me from the ones who add my work email to their religious themed chain-email list and forward me pictures of Fabio Jesus and inspirational messages that threaten my damnation if I don't perpetuate the theological torture on others.

And save me from the ones who are always talking about rules but never about prayer.

And finally, save me from the bingo players.

Yours in...You,

Dirty Catholic

Posted at 01:23 AM in Letters, Will this get me into heaven? |

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Comments

Othemts

When I first moved to Massachusetts, I called a local church and was connected to a voice mail tree:

Press 1 for Sunday and Daily Mass times
Press 2 for information about the Sacrament of Reconciliation
Press 3 for Bingo Nights

I don't think I ever went to that church.

Posted by: Othemts | October 17, 2007 at 07:00 AM

Bill T

If I read the book rightly Jesus went before us and what He left behind was God's Spirit so that we could have help in relating to others that 'bug' us.
It isn't perfect because I'm not. But mostly, That Helper really does help.....

Posted by: Bill T | October 17, 2007 at 04:07 PM

Diane

I'm going to be laughing all day about Fabio Jesus!

Posted by: Diane | October 18, 2007 at 08:40 AM

Mrs. G.

Oh, if only Fabio had been on one of the stations of the cross.

Posted by: Mrs. G. | October 18, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Anitra

You should coin the expression "Fabio Jesus"! This reminds me of when a friend of mine and I were talking about religion (she's a Jehovah Witness, I'm a dirty Catholic too) and she said, "Can you imagine God creating the most perfect and beautiful man?!" And I retorted with, "Jesus was a hottie?!!" I found your site through NaBloPoMo and am thoroughly enjoying it!

Posted by: Anitra | October 19, 2007 at 06:40 AM

Ironic Catholic

The Fabio Jesus pic is really, really scary.

But not as much as the Bingo machine.

:)

Posted by: Ironic Catholic | October 20, 2007 at 06:41 PM

lulu

WOW! The Fabio Jesus pic is funny and scary at the same time....can we say "therapy"?

Posted by: lulu | October 24, 2007 at 05:48 AM

JanieMorgan19

Various people in every country get the credit loans in different banks, because it is simple and comfortable.

Posted by: JanieMorgan19 | August 27, 2011 at 04:52 AM

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